Blowing the dust off and seeing if this still works

It has been a while since I've been here, a long while. Much has changed in my life. A move to the North Shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota, a steady regular job, and getting stabilized. Joy and Purpose needed to get grounded. I needed to do a lot of deep inner work. During a lot of it I did not feel like sharing. I lacked the courage to be authentic with my struggle. I was still "trying." Trying to be well and upbeat when I was actually pretty desperate and shell-shocked. I was still recoiling in shame from pretty much anything that looked like criticism. Its hard to be truthful when you don't dare be yourself.

I am finally feeling like a solid, more or less. I have worked hard to get here. I am thinking it may be valuable to post my journey-as-book-list at some point. There was a lot of reading, a lot of audio books, a lot of online programs, a lot of using a modality called tapping. I am definitely not a poster child for the modality, my dis-ease was stubborn and seemed part of my fiber. However, persistence pays off.

It is getting close to the time to re-incorporate Joy and Purpose and pick up my passion again. I have always been a bit evangelical about wanting to help people and help set them free to really be who they were meant to be. I have studied method after method, and every last one is the "one that will work" and everybody needs to do it. Some things are now different, some are the same. I still passionately want to help people grow free and be there best most expansive selves. I still find new methods. I still want to share them with the world. I think now, though, I am able to let people find their own paths and have the lives they choose. I will be available for those who wish to shift and change in a way complementary to my training.

I am training in Margaret M. Lynch's professional coaching program. I will become certified as a Transformational Wealth Coach. Why this? I love her pragmatic, direct approach to a problem that causes a great amount of suffering, difficulty around money and finances. The more people who are assisted to get out of their own way so that they can thrive, the more amazing this world will be.

Enough, it is past my bedtime. Goodnight.

Fixed positions

I have been thinking about the way we hold ourselves back. Well, more specifically, I have been thinking how I hold myself back. I have been in a rather intense period of self-work. I had allowed myself to get in a very stuck place, and now I am working my way out. I feel movement, I feel shifting, I feel my attitude getting better, and I see myself making baby steps. All good things.

In the work I am doing now, primarily with the materials produced by Carol Look, I have grown aware of "comfort zones", places that may not be where you want to be, but are comfortable. A part of a person is invested, for whatever the reason, in their remaining in a certain place or keeping a certain symptom. I have a handful. I carry 40-50 extra pounds, I have stiffness and joint pain, I have a jammed ankle that restricts my physical activity, my shoulders and neck are stiff. And, when I try and work on these things, I make little to no headway.

Carol proposes that these things serve a purpose. These symptoms for some reason make me feel safe, and letting them go does not feel safe. I have come to agree wholeheartedly. When I think of having a freely moving body I feel nervous. When I think about losing weight I get anxious and fearful. And I am very timid about moving out into the world. They all help hold me precisely where I am, and that feels safe.

My focus is slightly elsewhere right now. I am working on my fears of change and my fears of being seen. I know they are related, just different angles and different ways in. I am just going to be sitting with these thoughts for a bit, and letting them sink in. I will work them more directly...when it feels safe enough.

Repurposing Joy and Purpose.

My life has shifted greatly from when I started this blog. The constants are that I still work with EFT and its derivatives, and still practice the law of attraction. I have been on a long road out of a nearly complete shut down, having survived losing health, career, finances, relationship, and emotional health. I am making progress, and am growing active again.

We will see, but the intent here is to post my ruminations, successes, failures, and struggles as I recreate my life in a manner that is much closer to who I am. I am enjoying this journey back to me. I hope you enjoy it too.

Limiting self-talk

I have had the recent opportunity to work with a couple of new clients using EFT. I do work with a number of folks on a regular basis using Bioenergy Balancing as the modality. I have been working on and off with some of these folk for years, and they prefer this modality. They are familiar with it, they like how it works, and so they have no desire to switch.

I am passionate about the ease and simplicity of EFT though, and want to do more with this modality. I was honored recently when a woman from Second Life chose to work with me. We worked on the phone for an hour on being stuck career-wise. We got through a number of issues in that hour, and a lot of her negative self-talk seemed to loosen. I have followed up, and it seems to be holding.

EFT is great for loosening negative self-talk. So many times we stop our selves by our inner dialogue. The reasons for this limiting self-talk are many, from trauma, to the way we were brought up, to what we were taught, to observing what happened to those we care about, to…the list goes on. EFT is very good at loosening any emotional attachments and reasons we have for hanging on to this self-talk. It allows us to be more free to move forward with our desires. Getting the self-limiting dialogue out of the way can even help us find what we truly want.

Just to be redundant, there is a wealth of information and resources here.

One step further on my goal

I just passed the test presented by Dr. Patricia Harrington certifying that I have Advanced knowledge of EFT! I can now put the initials EFT-ADV on a business card or such.

This does not certify I know what I am doing in practice, but that I do understand it theoretically. If you think about it, even getting licensed in Psychology (an eventual goal) does not mean I am any good, just that I worked for X number of hours and that I passed a test. Guess this is as good as anything.

I had the URL I wanted, and have registered for a web site. I am slowly building it. My usual issue is coming up. I want to do such a good job, that it is taking me forever to do it. Perhaps I should just get a quick "hello" site done, and work on perfection later. Perhaps I should tap on it too! You will be hearing that a lot from me as time goes on. EFT is a technique that uses tapping on end points of select energy meridians, combined with carefully constructed statements, to loosen stuck stuff.

I will probably talk occasionally about Ms. Harrington's methods as time goes by. She is one of 29 "EFT Masters", a group of 29 people who were the first to undergo Gary Craig's rather extensive and grueling master's program. He ended that program, which sets these 29 people aside as some of the first pioneers. There are also many other methods, some of which I may mention here too. There is a lot of good stuff out there!

Why this blog, why here, why now?

I am seeking certification in EFT. I am required to have practiced for at least a year (have done that) and practice the modality for 100 hours (this is what I need to collect).

Sessions work just fine over the phone. I wish to solicit persons who are interested in experimenting with EFT with a practitioner. I am offering sessions for free for the next, oh, while. I am offering them over skype or in Second Life using voice. If you are interested in sessions, please contact me via this blog. If you just want to talk about it, I am open to that too.

Why work with me? I have my MACP, I have been a professional practitioner of Bioenergy Balancing for 8 years, working with my ability to track issues, be present with my client, developing a deep intuitive listening, and be able to handle pretty much anything a client brings to the table. Most of my work is over the phone, and has been very successful.

I am still in process with my own work. I started this journey from what felt like a very stuck and broken place. I am doing much better, thank you, and beginning to want to help others toward their own freedom.

Why here, using my alias? Well, I had already set up Blogspot under my SL avatar's identity, and I hope to get some work referred from SL. Once I figure out how to have two IDs here, I will change it.

I would love to hear from you.

Angelina aka Katie

Setting up my little experiment

I have been consistently entranced with a few modalities for a while. I suppose I should give this some sort of preface.

I have not been "easy in my own skin" for as long as I remember. I have been a seeker, which to me has meant that my internal environment has been sufficiently uncomfortable to keep me searching for ways to wear it with ease. I have a highly sensitive nervous system so I have been unable to just ignore the dis-ease.

I have cast about trying a huge number of things, from being a charismatic Christian from age 13 to 25, to shaman-ism, to assorted forms of meditation (which would have probably been great if I could have kept at it), to many other things, most of which I highly respect still. I am a practitioner of Reike, Bioenergy Balancing, TFT, EFT, I have a Masters in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, I am ordained, and I am starting to come to a place where it all feels like it is beginning to congeal.

My spiritual life is the most important thing in my life. The frame I hold around my spiritual life continually shifts and evolves. I am in agreement with Baba Harihar Ramji when he says that as you come to wholeness then the service naturally comes forth from that. My journey is my coming to wholeness, learning to sit easy in my own skin, and from there I can expand and help in the way that I dream of helping.

I have found two amazing tools in this journey that I have stuck with now for years. I am seeking certification in one of them, which is one of the purposes of this blog. EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, and the teachings of Abraham/Hicks.

This combination feels very powerful to me. One is to help you consciously create, the other is to help you release the subconscious and conscious blocks to that creating. I see many luminaries use this combination, or a similar combination (there are variations, all that work).