Fixed positions

I have been thinking about the way we hold ourselves back. Well, more specifically, I have been thinking how I hold myself back. I have been in a rather intense period of self-work. I had allowed myself to get in a very stuck place, and now I am working my way out. I feel movement, I feel shifting, I feel my attitude getting better, and I see myself making baby steps. All good things.

In the work I am doing now, primarily with the materials produced by Carol Look, I have grown aware of "comfort zones", places that may not be where you want to be, but are comfortable. A part of a person is invested, for whatever the reason, in their remaining in a certain place or keeping a certain symptom. I have a handful. I carry 40-50 extra pounds, I have stiffness and joint pain, I have a jammed ankle that restricts my physical activity, my shoulders and neck are stiff. And, when I try and work on these things, I make little to no headway.

Carol proposes that these things serve a purpose. These symptoms for some reason make me feel safe, and letting them go does not feel safe. I have come to agree wholeheartedly. When I think of having a freely moving body I feel nervous. When I think about losing weight I get anxious and fearful. And I am very timid about moving out into the world. They all help hold me precisely where I am, and that feels safe.

My focus is slightly elsewhere right now. I am working on my fears of change and my fears of being seen. I know they are related, just different angles and different ways in. I am just going to be sitting with these thoughts for a bit, and letting them sink in. I will work them more directly...when it feels safe enough.

Repurposing Joy and Purpose.

My life has shifted greatly from when I started this blog. The constants are that I still work with EFT and its derivatives, and still practice the law of attraction. I have been on a long road out of a nearly complete shut down, having survived losing health, career, finances, relationship, and emotional health. I am making progress, and am growing active again.

We will see, but the intent here is to post my ruminations, successes, failures, and struggles as I recreate my life in a manner that is much closer to who I am. I am enjoying this journey back to me. I hope you enjoy it too.